Soo my cute picture got deleted for this.
But my journal is (for the most part) friends only.

Comment it and I'll add you, though.

I'm pretty sure no one reads this, but oh well. I'm graduating tomorrow. Took damn long enough.

See, I say that, but I'm not really sure. It all turned into a blur that seems like it only took a few weeks to go by. It's a very strange idea. It's fascinating to see how I've changed and how everyone else has changed, or stayed the exact same.  I've been stuck with the same people for the past twelve years and now that's finally going away. Unfortunately, more than few of 'em are going to RIC, so they're not all gone.

I started out in kindergarten, friends with Catie Moniz and Jon Sheppard. Then there was ALP for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade; I was friends with Alex Breen and Catie Moniz. I still talk to Alex on occasion, but that will probably end now that school is over. Catie tries to talk to me. I can't say I'll be too sad about never hearing from her again. For some reason, though, I was friends with her throughout 4th and 5th grade, too. Everyone was friends at that point, though, so I don't know how much it counts. I had my first super mega crush, on David Dion. He has a kid now. Damn glad I got my crush on him over in 5th grade hah. 

Then came Middle School. That's what pretty much changed me completely and made me who I am now, despite me currently hating who I was then.  I started off in Silver Cluster, which is how I met Julia Moses. We were both totally hardcore and shopped at Hot Topic and listened to "punk." She was my best friend until around Freshman year. Then something happened, I could not even tell you what, and we haven't really talked since then. I used to practically live at this girl's house, we were inseparable. I texted her a few days ago and honestly didn't except a reply. I sincerely do wish I could chill with her / at least talk again, but I've learned to be a little realistic. We were there for each other throughout probably one of the hardest chunks of our lives and I guess once we didn't need each other around like that anymore, we just kinda moved on. It's sad, really. We still got along well whenever we did see each other (like in study for a while), but it was pretty obvious that she had no real interest in fixing our old friendship. Oh well.

At the end of Middle School, also, I met AFA. I was amazed. They were the coolest kids I had ever seen. I thought half of 'em were hot, especially Cam Mancini. I saw his picture on the Sonic Enema website; he was "Kam" on there. I was dating Jesse Blasbalg at the time, but after talking to Cam once online, I quickly dumped Jesse. That started a nearly three year long relationship. We started out totally amazing. We got along like no one could understand and we were more in love than anyone seemed to want to believe. There was a lot of drama because of this. AFA didn't like us being together; we got the nickname Cabulba Mancinifingers, a mix of my nickname, Sebulba Stickyfingers, and his name. This is kinda when Julia and I started not being friends. She sided with AFA; I didn't. I thought they were douchebags. Funny how quickly that changes. I went from wanting to be friends with all of them and wanting to spend every friday afternoon with them to... I don't even know. I remember Julia saying once how great it was to have something to look forward to every friday. Maybe that was part of it.

My relationship with Cam was amazing at first; we thought we would be together forever. We had plans to move to Canada and to have kids and all that stuff. He bought me a really nice ring, which I still have and wear today. I don't know if I've ever been as happy as I was at the beginning of our relationship. We both had similar interests and got along almost all the time. Then Cam became obsessed with straight edge and my entire life had to change because of it. 

I had been hanging out with Mike Rod and everyone around the end of my relationship with Cam. I had begun smoking weed, not even a lot at the time. The end of our relationship was really about drugs. He didn't want me smoking. Now he's dating a stoner. Yeah, this bugs me. The exact reason we broke up? He saw me on 4/20 with Rod and people and refused to give me a hug because he assumed I was high. Not cool.

So we broke up. I started spending all of my time with Mike Rod, Angel Diorio, Matt Daddona, Mike Lacharite, and a few other people. Linnea Totushek and I were still friends at this point. I got to party every day with them. It was awesome. My parents hated that I hung out with them. They were "bad influences." I was convinced I was in love with Mike Rod, despite him being a total asshole. He told me a bunch of lies that I believed. I ended up banging him and then he ended up getting arrested, so that ended there. He hates me now, because he blames me for getting arrested. I gave him weed for his birthday and brought that and my bowl with us. We were supposed to go to his house. He decided to park in Haines Park and practically wait for the cops.

Somewhere around this time was the Devon Lavoie thing, too. We were wicked good friends and talked on Skype all the time. I had a crush on him since Freshman Orientation when I first saw him, so I jumped at the opportunity to even talk to him. He ended up being kinda a douche sometimes, and he claimed to have serious issues with relationships cuz of his ex. Ended up banging him, too. Then we stopped talking. Recently, though, I've started talking to him a bit more. Unfortunately, that probably won't last now that school's over. He's actually a really cool kid if you ignore his self-centered-ness. 

After going through just about everyone I could, I ended up with Matt Daddona. He was nice and somehow convinced me, after the three years of him pursuing me. Basically ended up with a bottle of Bacardi, got wicked drunk, been dating since then for the most part. We have our drama. It sucks. Open relationship now. Still, things are weird.

I can't say I feel like I learned a lot academically throughout the years, but if you looked at my writing or other skills I probably have. I definitely learned about people though. Most of them suck. That's one lesson Barrington High School definitely makes clear.

I can't believe it's over, but I'm so happy it is. I have some decent memories of the high school, but I definitely won't miss it. Those memories are good enough, but they're over and I'm glad I can't make any more there.

"All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself. " - Pink from Dazed and Confused.

I'm on Seroquel now. I think that's weird. I've also been taking Ativan. 

 Seroquel:  is an atypical antipsychotic used in the management of schizophrenia, bipolar I mania, bipolar II depression, bipolar I depression, and used off-label for a variety of other purposes, including insomnia and anxiety disorders.

Ativan: Lorazepam, initially marketed under the brand names Ativan and Temesta, is a benzodiazepine drug with short to medium duration of action. It has all five intrinsic benzodiazepine effects: anxiolytic, amnesic, sedative/hypnotic, anticonvulsant and muscle relaxant.

Ativan is awesome. It's super strong though, so I can't stay on it for a long time. It's basically until the seroquel starts working. 

This is all very very strange to me. Blah.

I'm about to pack the bong while I do this, maybe it'll make it more interesting. I also just really wanna blaze. I got different stuff now. Anyways, back to the point.

A lot of stuff has been very strange lately.

• School: I'm pretty much never there. When I am, I'm getting yelled at by some teacher for not being there. It sucks. Mrs. Warlop should probably be dead, so I don't know why she's still teaching. She gets mad at me for missing school all the time. I don't really know what she wants me to do. I mean, if she would really prefer me to be there, she has to deal with the whole "puking my brains out" thing. Not fun for anyone involved, it's probably better if I stay home. Even Mrs. Lindenburg has been getting bitchy with me, which is really weird because she used to be so nice. I was late to her class on Friday, but I had a pass and everything (i was finishing a test in Anthro). She still got wicked pissed and marked me as absent unexcused. She said I cut a class I was there for. What the fuck? There are some good things about school, I guess. Mrs. T is gone, she had her little demon child and I don't think she'll be back for the rest of the year. I have to assume the kid is actually the spawn of Satan, considering the mother. Mrs. Siravo-Bazin decided we all have "jobs" in Comm now. She didn't give me the job I wanted, but at the end she basically said, "After doing all this, I realized there was one job that we could not survive without. This job has to go to someone I really trust and someone who can deal with people. So, of course, this job goes to Sam August." It was weird. She's cool though.
• Matt: We've been dating for like, a million years. I actually have no idea how long it's been... I doubt he knows either. 8 months maybe? Things with us are weird. We get along really well about half the time. We both get annoyed with each other wicked easily, too though. It sucks. He gets offended wayy too easily and he always assumes I'm mad at him. He's doing a lot of the same stuff that Cam did, too... He'll never tell me what's up when something is obviously wrong, he's not very good at being supportive sometimes. Dammit. 
• Cam: It's weird that he has a section on my life update thing considering I haven't spoken to him in about a zillion years. I still read his blog once in a while and try to keep in touch. It's really sad to me that I was so freakishly close with someone and we don't even speak anymore. I wish we could hang out, but I'm not sure what we could even do. I mean, I gave like three years of my life to the kid... It's hard not to miss him a little bit. Not romantically, cuz I'm sure at least someone will question that. Just as a friend. He was always a cool kid...
• The whole "being sick" thing: I have gone to two hundred thousand doctors appointments in the past few months. I've had every ailment possible. We went from sprained ankle to scoliosis to gallbladder polyps to vomiting to eye infections. The main thing has been the whole tummy issue. My gallbladder is broken, I might get it taken out. I had to get an endoscopy yesterday to find out wtf is going on in there. I don't have the results yet, so I still don't know. I've gotten so many IVs and so much blood taken in the past month-ish, I don't even want to think about piercings for a while. Hopefully I'll be getting better soon, but I dunno. It's not as bad now, but I'm still pretty damn sick.
• Drugz: So... I don't exactly know where to begin on this, but I guess it's a big part of my life, so it deserves a section. I smoke too much. I'll admit that. I don't care to stop really, though. Realistically, I smoke like... Well, let's assume one bowl pack is .2. I smoke at least two grams a day then. That's insane. I'm gonna cut back a bit, purely cuz I'm too damn tired all the time. I've been coming across the whole, "Wanting more exciting things" issue a lot, too... I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's practically impossible to get anything other than weed or coke in Barrington, and I'm not exactly looking for coke. 
• Pets: Matt's hamster, Rupert, died. He lived at my house. It was a hamster, so of course, it got wet tail. Stupid hamsters. We got a ferret for a day. Her name was Buttons but I renamed her GIR because she looked like a wannabe mongoose. I had to hide her from my mom, so she stayed in a smaller (but still big) cage than usual... She was not happy about this and she kept me up all night. The next day we gave her to one of Matt's friends. Ferrets are wicked cute, but they smell and they're wayy too loud. I'm sticking with my original choice of next pet: Tarantula. I'm not sure which kind I want, either a pink toed tarantula or a rose hair. They're silent, you're not supposed to interact with them, and you feed them once every two weeks. Best pet ever. The entire pet situation at my house has sorta changed a bit recently... We still have four cats, Coda, Angel, Sabbath, and Zero. But one of Dave's rats died, which was really sad because it was one of the friendly ones. I posted a while ago about Jack, one of my gerbils dying. RIP <3 So much sad stuff. I need muh tarantula.

I'm bored. That was an insanely long post. Blah. I'm gonna paint my nails I think.

 

I got an endoscopy yesterday. Got sedated, really don't remember any of it.
My mom freaked out on the nurse today for asking if it was Mr. or Mrs. August on the phone. She was like, crying when she came to get me from school, yelling that the nurse is a cunt. I don't get it.

I never go to school anymore. It's an issue. I have so much shit to make up. Quarter ends tomorrow. I'm not technically failing anything I don't think, but still.

Matt got me Easy Cheese. Yay! I miss Matt... I know he's kinda weird and like, not the best boyfriend sometimes... but I like him...

The remote for my computer controls this laptop, too. That's odd. I'm probably going to end up writing a really long post later. Yep.

There once was a girl named Michelle,
whose daughter was going to Hell.
So she drowned her in water,
and said goodbye to her daughter,
but now there's that God awful smell.

I'm really baked. That probably isn't very good.

My mom is psycho. I needed to leave to school early because I was sick. Apparently, that's really not cool.
Basically. She's a crackhead.

Super obnoxious stubborn crackhead.

So I dunno if anyone actually reads LJ anymore, but yeah.

I spent four hours at the hospital yesterday getting pumped with fluids. Again. Agh. It sucked.
Hyperventilating blows. Seriously.

Well, now that that's over with. I'm home from school. Not even feeling sick. I dunno if it's just the meds they put me on. Don't care, really.

My face is purple, my neck is purple, my hands are purple. Purple hair dye hates me.

Waiting for pizza rolls sucks. Probably not the best thing to eat after being super sick, but Lunchables Nachos probably weren't, either. I really dunno why I'm posting this right now.

I think that maybe nonweed drugs are not for me XD seems that every time i take them, i end up in the hospital. they said it was the flu, though. so maybe it was.

I've been listening to that a lot. It's a good song. Seriously, listen to it. My dad said it was his favourite song of all time once... That means it's good? I dunno.

I went to the doctors today for my back. I dunno what happened yet.
It's 4:20. Thought I'd let you know.
I'm too tired to exist. I can't sleep. Shit sucks dude.
BUT
My dreads are almost done and they'll be here by next week!!

Well I haven't posted in forever... Again. I'm really never on a computer anymore, I'm pretty much always with Matt and stuff... or asleep haha

But there are updates to be had!( Updates are here )

Overall, though.. Things have been good. I'm happy. Yay.

I thought this'd be like, the easiest Writer's Block thing ever, so yep. Screw words. Here be a picture of Sam's dream car haha


'72 SS Nova. I would literally kill someone for this car.

Yep.

Anyways:

I slept at Matt's last night. It was weird. We did a puzzle.
My head hurts.